I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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