I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
