tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
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