Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
