i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
How's work?
Spinning.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
