Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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