Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
