you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
