If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
