she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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