Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
