we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
