Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
