apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
