I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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