halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
