What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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