I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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