I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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