To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
