Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
