when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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