He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
