The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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