Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
