What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
