don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
