loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
