with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
