just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
