Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
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