Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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