Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
