Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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