she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
