That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
