atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Randomize
