dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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