So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
