I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
