Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
