Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
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