What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
