I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
