I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
