drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
