My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
