I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
