On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
