my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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